My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I need to calm my uterus...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Randomize
