i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
