Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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