apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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