so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
