we have officially lost it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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