Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
