I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
