are you so shy because you have an std?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
