She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
