If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
