Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
