I didn't shave. On purpose
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize