He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
