i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
