24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
