He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
