i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize