yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Its about making memories worth repressing
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
