That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize