i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
