I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
