Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
