I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
