what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
