she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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