she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
