I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
