Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
