he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
