Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I am mentally ready for anal.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
