On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
