Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize