You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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