Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
