is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
