You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
