would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
