I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
