Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
