I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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