hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
soo... how was my night?
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