YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
