is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
