You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
