So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
