i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
