she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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