I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
