He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
