let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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