We're facebook friends in real life
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i think my cat just said my name.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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