Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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