She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize