I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
