Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
