I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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