HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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