just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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