Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
