What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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