Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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