I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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