Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
