I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
