oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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