guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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